Overcoming Lust
You are the high place.
Photo of closet
I declare let the light shine.
I believe the Holy Spirit aligned this day for me to speak up and bring a message.
Back in 2008, I was faced with a choice — kind of like Jesus in the wilderness — the temptation to have the world and all its glory, or to go after God. I chose the latter, and that set my life on a path of learning to trust Him, especially as I stepped out on my own. I feel like God really has kept me, especially being a young man in Chicago.
But now, I feel like I’m in a different era. I can see where drift has happened — like that strong pursuit I had toward God has gotten watered down and systemized. I don’t want that.
Throughout my life, lust has been a battle. Sometimes it hits harder, sometimes it’s quieter — kind of like weather. But I’ve never really conquered the hunger for it. Even when I’m not acting on it, I get frustrated that it’s even there… and honestly, I haven’t built real accountability. It hasn’t been talked about much. And lately, I’ve been more relaxed about it.
Julianna and I have been struggling in our marriage — a lot of it tied to this issue and the way my attention has drifted from her. It’s caused real damage in our trust and our sense of safety.
I’ve been trying to pull some weeds out of our relationship — trying to own what I’ve planted. But the other day, I realized that while I had screen time locked on my iPhone, my Mac was still unlocked for porn. I tested it… and it worked. And I went there.
This morning it all came out — I was about to put a Father’s Day slide up at church, opened my browser, and a porn site popped up right in front of Julianna. She saw it. And that said it all.
Then in service, Dave’s message hit it right on: “The eyes of the Lord are searching the earth for those fully devoted to Him.” That felt like it was for me.
God’s telling me not just to start well — but to be well now… and to finish well.
I need help. There are high places in my life that still haven’t been torn down. And I don’t want to keep living like this.
you have desecrated the house of God. You do not know what you have done.